act.always.

I feel like a piece of shit. Not because I am, but I can easily make myself looking like that. The small, cute city of Lund was full of hopes when I arrived, and every single day I was thinking I am getting closer to make things real. Soon I realized it's not like that. It just appears to be perfect, altough it's not even close.
When I wake up, I think. Afterwards, I forget.
It wasn't meant to be like this. It wasn't.
To have what I have right now, you have to sacrifice a lot. A looooot.
What did I sacrifice ? Nothing. So I am suffering now. My world is suffering because of my weak will.
I just need to divide. Divide and conquer.
I just need the power and will to do this.
I wonder if I ever will get there. I started to have doubts, which I never had in my entire life. They are scaring me. They make me ask the question;
"What if?"
I need to move. Maybe not the biggest steps I used to take all the time, but some steps need to be taken. Otherwise, I'm gonna fall down. Fall down very hard, and I will feel pain, a lot of pain. Maybe it will be impossible to recover myself afterwards. To prevent this fall, I just need to take a trip. A trip to the inner me.
Like they say;
"Den längsta resan är resan innat."

I have the solution, from the beginning, I have it. I just need to put it into action. On the backside of my iPod, I say: "think.always."
Maybe now I should add something into that;
"act.always."

Ümit Selahattin Öner

just happened.

Yea. Let's talk about my life here in Sweden since 3 months. It is much much better than I expected, despite my expectations were soooo high. Here, I got higher...
Seriously, if you are thinking about studying in the city of Lund, you can ask me anything but I think you don't need to. You should stop thinking and get moving about that. Hmmm. What else?..
Oh I think I gotta talk about the title of this post. At least give some clues.
It was about time seriously, it was getting late. But in PG, we say "Chocolate is better than never."
I had my first exam, it was a home exam and I did it in the last night of course, and delivered. Now, in 5 hours, I will have the oral part of the exam, which can only increase my score. On the other hand, for other course, Introduction to Synchrotron Light, I had 5 reports to do, and I only did 1. The deadline was 1st December, so now I don't know what I should do. It's fucked up I guess. I am fucked up.
Christmas is coming here, and you can see the "lights" allwhere. Literally, allwhere. Swedish people are weird. Do you wonder why ? I can explain you if you are interested. Just ask. I think I will stay here for christmas holiday, altough I'd like to visit my family and my friends, but for me it's ok also this way.
One other important thing, if you come to Sweden, permanently or temporarily, to study, just make sure you have a big scholarship, because altough you can live cheap here, everything fun costs a lot. Seriously, a lot.
Tomorrow, we are gonna have the last big "PG Dinner" and on friday, the final party of "PG Nation". I am pretty sure it's gonna be awesome, if you are reading this and present in Lund, just be sure the party is in your schedule.
Whatever, this is getting too long. I'm having the best here, trust me.
"See you late"
P.S. If you wonder what "PG" is, find me on Facebook.

game over. i guess.

Today it was a big milestone in my life i suppose. I had some moments, which are so embarassing of course, because I made people have to think about me. I hope this will be a stop sign for some kind of things for me. I am glad that I am as smart as I can tell myself to stop. Even though when I was on top, I controlled myself a little bit at least. However, I'm still trying though. There are lot to tell about this night. See you soon. Hejdå!!!

what do you expect ?

I just came home from a party in this beautiful city of Lund. It's been exactly 2 months since I came, and I can easily say that it was the best achievement -or whatever you call it- of my entire life. I cannot tell you what was going on here since 2 months with couple of words. However, I can try to do it for today.
Yesterday night, while I was having good time in another party, I had my rear tyre flat. Then I put some air and came home but in the morning, it was flat again so it was obvious that something was wrong. Then around 4 in the afternoon, I fixed and tried it...
Voila! It seemed nice.
Around 6.30, I went to this "Tack Sittning" which is organized for us, as a prize for one night work in Helsingkrona Nation. I had a good dinner there, and I moved to the club, but it was not that cool, so I came back home. There was some friends together, having some pre-party, which I joined immediately. After sometime, we decided to go to this party in Delphi. When we arrived, there were maybe 30 people, but more or less it was like everything but party. So we thought that these people need some action. Then we just brought the party spirit there. Around this time, like 12, I started to feel good. Then we smoked a joint, and I was gooood. Actually, I peed from 3rd floor. It was just for fun. Trust me it's not disgusting, you wanna do that, I can feel. If you are a girl, I'm sorry then, this is something that you can never ever feel in your whole life. :P
Then we moved out towards home but somehow I found myself in the same party again. It was kinda boring that time but some Danish girl tried to learn Turkish for maybe an hour, and the only words she managed to learn was "merhaba" and "güle güle" which means "hello" and "bye bye", respectively. Quite impressive, right ? After that me and Albert decided to leave this time, but downstairs we saw a girl and asked her about "Sasha" and she told us that he's in the kitchen. When we went to this kitchen, some people were waiting for us, and they offered us a ping-pong table and rackets, so we started to play table tennis in this unknown-kitchen. It was quite fun though. There I found out that Albert is not only a fucking Catalan, he is also a fucking good table-tennis player.
After the game, with some struggle, we managed to find the way home and at home we just smoked another joint, and started to talk all stupid and silly stuff, and I wasn't even following what I was talking about. It was quite a relief for me though. Then he went to his room and now I guess I'm supposed to be sleeping but I just don't want to. Here I am, writing this piece of shit. Ask me if you have any fucking questions, I would gladly answer. Or not, I'm not sure about that, coz I'm fukin high!

Ciao!!

Ooops... Sorry.

Actually, I have thousand of stuff in my mind to write here right now, but I wanna go to sleep first. Then when I have time to write here, I won't remember any of these abovementioned stuff. Sorry 'bout that.
Ciao.

Lund - İsveç

Evet, 23 Haziran Pazar saat 02:00 gibi Kopenhag'a geldim. Sabaha kadar havaalanında oyalandıktan sonra önce Malmö'ye, sonra Lund'a ve ardından Svalöv'e birsürü bavulla zorlu bi yolculuk yaptım. Sonra Selen, Anton ve bikaç eleman daha IKEA'ya gittik fakat daha o zaman benim kalacak yerim olmadıgından hiçbirşey almadım. Sonra akşam döndük ve ben Lund'a geçtim çünkü ertesi gün sabah 9 da 50 tane oda verilecekti ve onun için sıraya girmem gerekti. Akşam 7 gibi sıranın olduğu yere vardım ve 14. sırayı alabildim. Tabiki ordaki listeye adımı yazmak yetmedi yaklaşık 30 - 40 kişi gece dışarıda sabahladık. Dışarıda kuyruk bekleme olayını herkese tavsiye ediyorum ama İsveç'te değil. Gündüz 25 derece olan hava gece birden 5 dereceye iniverince ne mont ne kürk ne yorgan hiçbirşey işe yaramıyor. Ardından sabah oldu kapı açıldı ve 14. kişi olarak 2 odalı bir apartman dairesinde Franceso Zoppedu ile ev arkadaşı oldum. Gece sırada tanıştığım İspanyol taş Eva gelip aynı eve çıkalımmı diye sordu ama artık herşey için çok geçti :( . Herneyse sonra bankaya gidip para yatırdık ve dönüp evin anahtarlarını aldık. Ardından okula kaydımı yaptım ve vatandaşlık no için başvuru yaptım. Okulla alakalı işlerim bittiğinde saat zaten 4'ü geçmişti ve evi görmeye gittim, içeriye bi göz atıp tekrar Svalöv'e Selen'in yanına döndüm. Arka arkaya 2 gece uyumamanın verdiği yorgunlukla uyuyakalmışım ve ertesi sabah uyandım tekrar o bütün bavullarla Lund'a geldim ve bavulları evime yani "Parternas Gränd"e taşıdım. Salı günü birkaç Information Market ve Meeting'den sonra tekrar akşam eve geldim ve uyudum. Dün yani çarşamba ise alışveriş yapmak için çıktım yorgan yastık vb. birkaç şey aldım fakat hala en büyük ihtiyacım olan bisiklet konusunu çözmüş değilim. Bugün yani Perşembe saat 6'da bisiklet açık artırması olacakmış belki orada şansım döner. Bu arada kaldığımız apartman 4 daire, ben italyan Francesco'yla kalıyorum, karşımızda bir İspanyol bir Alman çocuk var, altımızda iki Rus kız ve onların karşı dairesinde bir kız bir erkek İspanyol var. Bayağı multi-national bi ortam. Çarşamba akşamı bu elemanlarla Vastgöta Nation'un partisine gittik fakat kapıda ekmek kuyruğu gibi birşey vardı o yüzden daha küçük bi nation olan Krischansta Nation'ın pubında sohbet ettik. Hangi dilde diye sorarsanız İngilizce değildi ona eminim :). Bu sabahta bölümüme yani MAX-lab'a geldim ve şu anda da ordayım. Bu sene burada master yapacak kişi sayısı 2'ymiş ve diğeri de evet bildiniz oda Türk :P. Şimdilik olanların çoğu bu kadar. Umarım ilerde de üşenmem ve yazılara devam edebilirim. Yarın modemimi alıcam ve ondan sonra heryerden internete girebileceğim o yüzden sorun olmaz umarım.

hayaller…

   Rüyalar, hayal kurmak… Her insan için bir içgüdüdür hayal kurmak. Herkes hayal kurar; evler, arabalar, sevgililer, işler, yerler ise bir insanın hakkında hayal kurabileceği milyonlarca şeyden yalnızca birkaçı, fakat en yaygın olanları.

   Hayallerimiz her zaman sahip olduklarımızın ilerisindedir ve hatta çoğu zaman yaşamımız boyunca gelebileceğimiz en uç noktanın bile ilerisindedir.

   Hergün internette, gazetelerde, dergilerde vb. başkalarının esinlenmesi, ilham alması için yüzlerce, belki binlerce başarı hikayesi yayınlanıyor. Fakat hiç düşündünüzmü, tarih boyunca milyarlarca insan kendi rüyalarını gerçekleştiremeden, kendi başarı hikayelerini yazamadan tarihe karışıyor.

   Ayrıca günümüz insanlarının çoğu hayaller ve hayal kurmak hakkındakı en önemli gerçeği unutuyor;

   Rüyaları gerçekleştirmenin en iyi yolu, uyanmaktır, diyor Paul Valery. Uyanmak, ve var gücünüzle çalışmaya başlamak.

   Yukarıda bahsedilen başarı hikayelerini okumak ne kadar ilham verici olsa da, pratikte hiçbir işinize yaramıyor.

   Bir rüya uğrunda çalışmak, o rüyanın gerçek olmasını garantilemese de izlenmesi mecburi bir yol. Hatta rüyanız şansla gerçekleşse bile. Böyle bir durumda sadece sizin rüyanız için çalışanın kim olduğunu bilmezsiniz o kadar.

   Fakat hayalinizin uğrunda çaba harcarken, herşey ters gitse bile, ayakta durmalısınız. “Bir kez daha denemeliyim” deyip devam etmelisiniz. En azından bir yerlerden başlamak zorundasınız. Unutmayın; Binlerce kilometrelik bir yol, birkaç adımla başlar.

                                           Ümit Selahattin ÖNER

Hey folks,

I know I've been an asshole since sometime, saying read my blog and never posting there. Haha. Yea you are right. I just dont have the spirit to write here. Instead, I write to my private notebooks. Here I will publish some phrases I thought about in last couple of weeks. These phrases are originally said by me, and copying without quotation is strictly forbidden according to law #6343, DON'T STEAL! Here they are and I want to mention, they are open to change in future.

- I am not just a point in your life story, I'm an entire paragraph.

- Follow my footprints, then you'll be enlightened.

- Look back, but move forward. Your past will guide you through your future.

All by Ümit Selahattin Öner.

See you soon with a new post telling my last days in Turkey.

Ciao

after all

Yesterday, I applied to Sweden for a residence permit and that was all. All I should do. I graduated, I am accepted to Lund, I've done everything I should. Now, I could sleep and wake up around 20th of August. During this time I want to study physics and math a litle bit but we all know I will not.
Something new, I have a stepmom since a week. I don't know what to tell about it. So if you wonder, just ask.
Next week I will go to graduation ceremony, so I will be in Izmir for the last time this year.
In these days, I guess I will feel bored but somehow, I'm enjoying the boredom. =)
I know that I am going to have the best days of my life after 24 August, why give a shit about anything else ?

I like the way I move!

Hejdå everyone.

final ! days

I think, I am the only one among my classmates who posts a blog article right now. I hear you asking why ? Because we all have important exams tomorrow. However, I am the only one who's not that stressed. Actually, this was my worst course so I gotta be studying right now, but I just can't folks. I just can't. In next couple of hours, I will be very sleepy and probably gonna decide sleeping. Then in the morning I will go to library and wait someone to come and study with me maybe. Let's hope, in a few hours I could deal with this course. I don't know what to write too actually. Oh, I can tell that I passes the hardest course of this semester. If I pass the one which is tomorrow, then there is nothing to worry. You could call me as a college graduate. ;)

Then there is a diploma work. It has to be done until friday. I will try to do it but definitely I don't intend to spend hours and hours on it. My colleagues should do it and I bet they will, at least Im gonna make them have to.

Also there is the "one" thing. I told you about this before. It is still stuck in my mind. I made some plans to deal with it. Hope one of them works. This thing will last until I go Sweden, maybe even after that. So this is a long-term plan. ;)
No need to rush ha? Oh yeaa ;) You can bet that.!

So I'm gonna say goodbye to all of you fellas. I hope I can study for couple of hours tonight. Be well!
Hejdå !!!

Min kudde luktar fortfarande som du.

Hey fellas,

I want to ask you, what can I do to make people read this shit ? I'm so open to your suggestions or whatever... C'mon guys, spread the word, make people read a genius. :P

Nowadays, someone in my situation would definitely say that he is busy as hell, however I can't feel the rush thru my veins. What's the rush here ? :P I have 3 exams left in this next 5 weekdays, I have a huge diploma work to write, and I have an oral exam of diploma work also. Plus, I took a page of article to translate for a friend. Shit ha ? I didn't ever start to study for the exams, didn't start to make research for the diploma work. I guess, once again, I will not be sleeping for couple of nights. Oh but don't you worry, I will stay awake not for studying, just to feel good instead. I hope I can write couple of words. Also all these laziness is just because a reason. I can't tell the reason here but maybe I can give some clues about it. Listen to this song, and then continue please. =)

Deja Vu - Can't Stop Thinking of You

Now do you have a clue ? If you still don't, then watch this ;

Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out of My Head

I guess that's enough, but the last thing (and also the title) I'm gonna say is;

My pillow still smells just like you...

Statement of Purpose

Hi folks, this is the Statement of Purpose which brought me to the Lund University, MAX-lab. I wrote this in around 3 hours, I'm publishing it here, so you don't bother writing a new one ;). Also I want to thank Alper Çelik, because I have taken couple of sentences from his S.o.P.

When I learned how to read and write at the age of 4, I met the joy of learning things. After that, my life has been all about asking questions and learning. When I started to study at the age of 5, two years earlier than normal school age in Turkey, my passion of learning got even bigger. When grow-ups asked me about what I am going to be in future, the one and only answer I gave them was "scientist". I was caught by excellence of the science.

After the University Entrance Exam, all of my choices were chemistry or other natural sciences. Then, in the first year of university, I had a chance to get in the modern physics world. I must admit, I was impressed. In next 3 years, while I am studying chemistry, I was trying to keep up with the developments in modern physics. Here I have to say something really bothered me. In my 3rd year, I wanted to improve my skills in modern physics by following lectures in our Physics Department. However, a lecturer, who gives the Introduction to Particle Physics course, did not even let me listen his lessons, and gave me no reason. What would one do in that case? I went home and prepared a presentation. The title was "Particle Physics and Standard Model". The only person I invited from our Physics Department, the one and only member of CERN in our university, said he is totally impressed.

In summer 2008, I had to work as an intern in any field related to chemistry. I choosed the best possible place to work closely with Nuclear Sciences, Cekmece Nuclear Research and Training Center. After my obligated one month work, A. Fadıl Akgun, a general advisor there requested me to stay another month to work with him. Of course, I eagerly accepted this request. Besides, in that summer I attended to 4th National Summer School on Particle Accelerators and Detectors in Turkey, organised by Turkish Physical Society and that's where I met the Synchrotron Radiaton, its applications, FEL's and many more concepts about accelerators. I guess there is no need to mention I was the only chemist there. It was the event which introduced me to MAX-Lab.

MAX-Lab, the only laboratory of its kind in Sweden, looked as a very amazing place to study - or work - for me, because I have been to Sweden twice before and I was already impressed by the people living here. Their respect to each other, their respect to nature was showing that the people here are living in a great harmony. Also I must say I have a belief that studying at MAX-Lab as a Master's Degree student would be a unique opportunity to enrich my knowledge in the fields of my interests and to continue the career path I have started in an academic environment and I intend to follow this up with a Ph.D.

In Fall Semester 2008, I was an instructor in the laboratory of Nuclear Chemistry I course. My thesis advisor Prof. Turan Unak had troubles with finding Ph. D. students with enough experience in Nuclear Chemistry, then I came up with an idea, I said I could do it because including this Nuclear Chemistry I course, I took three courses from Prof. Unak before. He accepted this proposal and then as 7 diploma work students of his, we assigned to work every week as an instructor for 3rd grades in the course. As the course ended last week, students kept telling me they really like my experiments. It was a delightful job to me, actually it was everything to me but a job. Nowadays, we are working intensively on our diploma works with my friends and Prof. Unak. My specialized subject is about coding a computer software which can calculate the behaviors of F-18 radioactive isotope in a cell using Monte Carlo calculations and its consequences. Other research areas of us includes new aspects in PET imaging, using F-18 isotope with novel studies and so on.

Since we dont have any research objected particle accelerator, studying in the field of Synchrotron Radiation Based Sciences is nearly impossible in Turkey. MAX-Lab gives me the opportunity for studying in a cutting-edge research field. Including Sweden's countless chances for scientists working there, I am very ambitious about working in MAX-Lab Synchrotron Radiation facility. I have to say that science is the job I can do until I die. I remember Alfred B. Nobel once wrote in a letter as an answer to a question asking where he lives; "Home is where I work, and I work everywhere". Taking all these benefits of Sweden and my addiction to science into account, I eagerly want to study in MAX-Lab und jag önskar innerligt att Sverige skall bli mitt nya hem.

Ümit Selahattin Öner

(do) I rock ! ?

Until today, I was thinking that 2009 is so damn awesome year for me. However, today I got some news about some things and once again, my mind is so confused. I found out about a guy, who scored 100 (top score) on the Turkish GRE. Also his GPA is 3,97 over 4,00. What kind of people are these ? I be spoiled sometimes and I consider myself as a genius, and if I am a genius, what are they ? I guess I am just a fake one. A fake genius. Now one more time I learned that I am not on the top of anything. I am not even a little bit close to the top. That is strikingly harsh.

Let me tell you about the recent news in my life. I went to Germany for 10 days, between 17 - 27 May, and lived the life that I missed once again. I did an awesome trip there. I went to Stuttgart, Karlsruhe (mostly), Heidelberg and Munich. After a while from my return, I got the official acceptance letter to Synchrotron Radiation Based Sciences Master Program at Lund University, MAX-Lab, Sweden. Then on 16th of May, me and 5 other friends went to Bodrum for 5 days, for the last long holiday of our university lives. It also could be called "nice" and "funny". After all nowadays I am dealing with the writing of my diploma work and then I have 5 exams between 1 -12 June and then, I am - only if everything goes fine - officially graduated. By the way during the past months, I had a girlfriend. It didn't last long, it wasn't meant to last long already. Besides everything, it made me realize what I want and what I don't want. In may, I applied for the Swedish Institute Scholarship. It is about 700 Euro per month and if I got that scholarship, it means my life is saved. Gotcha ? I am soooo close to it.

Wish me luck & pray for me.

Hejdå allt.

after a long time...

Last time I posted a blog was about 3 months ago right ? I'm sorry about that, but that's because I know no one reads my blog. Honestly, I don't really feel sad about it. So be it.
Today, I can tell many news but I guess I won't remember some of them again.
Where were we last time ? Yea, my TOEFL Score was announced : 104 over 120. That's awesome ha ? ^^It's only the beginning of the story...^^

I took 7 classes in fall semester and I succeeded - ALL OF THEM - yea ALL !
Actually there are some happenings but who cares, I passed ALL.

Then, the Germany thing. The training course, organized by European Commission - Joint Research Center - Institute for Transuranium Elements: 1st Advanced Training Course on Illicit Trafficking and Consequence Management with Nucleonica. I made an application for participating in this course, because if I got accepted, they would cover my travel and accomodation expenses.
I also want to mention that this course will be organised in Karlsruhe - Germany, where I would go if I were the Erasmus student of my department. So this is like an answer to the person who selected the Erasmus student ha ? isn't it ? I think absolutely it is...
After the selection made, I got an e-mail, in which they mentioned I got ACCEPTED. If you couldn't read, let me say that again, "ACCEPTED". Now only thing I have to do is prepare some documents for visa and for reimbursement of my money. The rest is joy. I will be in Karlsruhe for 10 days I hope.

Another thing, which excites me the most, is Sweden. After some e-mail traffic with Prof. Schröder, I got the news that I fulfill all the requirements and therefore -inşallah- I will be accepted to the Lund University - MAX-lab - Master Programme on Syncrotron Radiation Based Sciences. On studera.nu, now it says : PLACE GUARANTEED as my application condition. If this happens, you will absolutely see it here the minute I find out.

Now, my midterm exams are about to begin. I only have 5 classes this semester, and I am hoping to pass them all easily. Let's all hope that happens. :P
That's all for this time I think, I don't want to keep it longer and get you bored. If you want to ask me ANYTHING but ANYTHING, just write me, leave a comment here, e-mail me or something like that....

One last thing, I will soon publish the "Statement of Purpose" which I wrote to Lund University - MAX-lab for my application.

Jag älskar Sverige !!! Hejdå !!!

Like I said before, "TOEFL? bring it on babe!"

Today, I'm here to make an announcement about my TOEFL iBT score. Finally, - actually earlier than I expected - it is announced, telling that I got 104, (yeah, right, one-oh-four). For ones who doesn't have an idea about what it means; the top score is 120, almost all graduate schools require around 80, M.I.T. requires 100. Now have a clue ?
And now there is nothing between me and Sweden. I am just waiting and praying for getting accepted to MAX-lab.

I don't think I could write much longer, maybe some other time. Just enjoy my success. ;)

Modesty does NOT fit me. Sorry. =)

Hejdå!!!

u gotta check this out!!!

Basshunter - Now You're Gone




I liked it much, it kinda makes me wanna move all the time, makes me feel good. ;)
He is Swedish btw.
"Coz Swedish do better."

Am I cursed ???

On friday, I sent all necessary documents to "studera.nu" by mail. However, I forgot to do something about it. On website, it was clearly mentioned that every document should be stamped and signed by issuing institution. So, I made my transcript and letter of graduation stamped by my school, however I forgot -actually never thought of it- to stamp my copy of passport. Now, my documents are on the way to Sweden. I don't know what to do. I guess my best choice is having a stamped copy of an ID and send it on Monday for being attached to other documents afterwards. If this works out, I would be really glad. I will try this. Hope it works.

On Wednesday morning, I wrote my Statement of Purpose in 3 hours. It wasn't flawless of course but everyone who read it said it's great. I will publish it here soon. Keep watching.

Also my TOEFL score is going to arrive studera.nu after 1 February, the deadline. I mailed to MAX-lab and they said it's ok for them. I am a little bit relieved, now waiting for the TOEFL score which I think will be announced around February 1st.
Now, it is just the day before my finals' beginning. I will begin with "Instr. Analysis 2", then "Biosensors" on Tuesday, "Inorganic Chemistry III" on Thursday, between 22 - 27 I will have 5 days break and on 27th Jan., Tuesday, I'll have "Indust. Processes I", 28th "Organic Chemistry III", 29th Thursday "Analysis in Organic Chem." and "Intro. Polymer Chem.". That's all I have. If I pass all of 'em then I might be considered as graduated. ;)
Now, I did not even read one page about exams and considering about doing well on all of them. That's kinda ridiculous, I'm aware. Although I am that much lazy, I still have the spirit. I'm going to rock their sox off!

Spirit for Sweden.

Jag älskar Sverige !!!

HEJDÅ !!!

TOEFL, Master in Sweden, et cetera

I know it has been long time since I wrote last time. I just can't get inspired and find somethings cool enough to write here. Now, I am here in Istanbul, I took the TOEFL exam 3 days ago and my memory is full of it, so if anyone needs any advices and/or questions about TOEFL iBT, just go ahead and ask me. Before I took the exam, I was thinking I'm gonna rock its sox off but while the exam, I had hard times. Before the exam I did many practices and they were so easy for me, so I thought I could do the TOEFL just fine but now I'm praying for it to be fine enough. Anways, I will let you as soon as I get the results, around early February. Like I said before, don't hesitate to contact me about any questions or suggestions about TOEFL. As general advice, I strongly recommend all of you to practice A LOT. If you can, go to secialized TOEFL courses and get the TECHNIQUE. Since haven't done anything special for TOEFL so far, and I'm not going to, I guess it is ok for me to get ANY score. Something else, the application process has been changed a little for me. Now I'm applying to 1st. MAX-Lab - Lund University, 2nd. Stockholm University - Neurochemistry Department, 3rd. Umeå University - Chemistry Department and 4th choice of mine is Uppsala University - Chemistry Department. Also you can ask ANYTHING about these schools or education in Sweden, I would like to help as much as I can. And if you know some original information about education in USA, or any other cool Nuclear Sciences, Particle, High Energy Physics facility and/or university, you are welcome to tell me about any of them. For now, that's all I can write, I'm tired and sleepy, hope to see you soon with another inspiring post. Keep your head up, always look forward and think. always.
"You have to trade your youth with something."

Hejdå...

coming soon...

I know it is been a while but I could not feel like writing something here. Now I guess it's time because very important times are really getting close. Let me explain my schedule overview for you. In last weeks, I applied for TOEFL exam and 4 Master Programmes in Swedish Universities. 2 of them are in Lund, 1 in Umeå and 1 in Uppsala. I have to send the necessary documents until 15th January, and I will take the TOEFL exam on 10th Jan. Deadline for sending TOEFL results is 1st February. Then, after all this mess, the application results will be announced around early May. Let me tell you something, This is seriously the biggest event in my life. If I got accepted there, let the world stop. I would die, definitely. May Allah be with me. Please, if you believe in me, I want you to pray for me also. Even though i'm a real jerk sometimes, I think I deserve this chance.

Also, if you have any questions about anything, please write me.

Now, I really don't want to write here. After thinking about all these stuff, I just feel like doing nothing. That's something I really need to get over. For now, that's all I'm gonna write. See you some other time. Take care all. Hejdå!!!

Everything goes just fine...

Once again, hi...

This time I wrote here intentionally late because of my mid-term exams. Now I'm posting but are they over ? No, actually not, there are 2 more left and one of them is the one that i really am scared of. It's called "Analysis in Organic Chemistry". However, I know i'm gonna succeed and no one should worry 'bout it. On the other hand, the main topic in this blog post is;

Applications for Higher Education in Sweden for Autumn 2009 term starts tomorrow... I guess forthcoming days will be the most important ones of my entire life so far. I will apply up to 4 universities in Sweden and it's all being handled via studera.nu, there won't be any direct application to any Higher Education Institute. Just apply to studera.nu and send them one set of documents and they will handle everything else. From now on, I am ready to do literally everything to study in MAX-lab. On 12th of December, I will take the TOEFL exam, and from 5 to 12 December, I will be in Istanbul for a religious holiday and getting prepared for a good score in TOEFL. Wish me luck about that -like i need it-... haha...

In my opinion, it's really important for me to get accepted to Lund University, MAX-lab, but as everyone know, my GPA is not the perfect one. It's the only problem for me i guess. However, I am very hopeful and enthusiastic about getting accepted there. I'm gonna leave it here and if you have any questions about Sweden, Lund, MAX-lab or anything else, just write me and i will help as much as i can... You can count on that. See you all soon..

Hejdå!!!

nothing extraordinary.

Once again, hi.
A week after my last post, nothing extraordinary happened but I guess there's some to tell. About a month ago, I bought a watch from eBay which is exactly the same with the one I use - D&G. I bought it to sell and make profit but there was something that I didn't know. When I bought it, US $ was 1.25 YTL and it was very cheap, however after my credit card bill sent, i've found out that bank calculates the currency on the day of billing so, that day one US $ was 1.70 YTL. That really pissed me off and i decided to quit using credit cards. - I am selling this watch on www.gittigidiyor.com for 300 YTL so if you think about buying a cool watch from D&G, just go there and search for "d&g unique".
Yesterday, it was an important day for our department, even for the faculty. Thanks to Prof. Unak, he brought 5 mCi of F-18 radioisotope which has 110 minutes of half-life to our laboratory and we made some experiments with it. We had to use it in couple of hours because it just decays to 0-18 completely around 8 hours. So we tried 4 ways to make a compound labelled with F-18 but i can't say we succeeded. Instead, we found out that labelling does not occur in presence of Iodogen. That is also something. At least Prof. Unak said that :P

Something else, I'm now the head of EBILTET Chemistry Research Group. I made my first meeting and got some ideas, got some opinions there. Next one is on Monday, 10th November, in EBILTEM Conference Hall, 2nd Floor so if you are a member of EBILTET, you better show up there. I want to mention that the meeting will be held in English.

That's all that i can come up with for this time. I hope this blog is not boring because I know there's not many people reading this and i really appreciate people that reads my blog. Thank you so much. -with love and respect-. HEJDÅ !!!

some progress.

Since my last post, there's been lot to tell i guess. Some baaaad, some good news. First the worst one, I couldn't get the job that i told before here. They first accepted my application but then they didn't respond to my e-mails. I asked to someone else and he said application was not accepted. So I wasn't counting on this very much already.
Other than that, I started working with Prof. Astley besides working with Prof. Unak. So I have no time in weekdays, seriously. From 8 in the morning to 5 in the evening, sometimes even later, I'm at school. We tried to synthesize a Schiff base with Prof. Astley but at first we thought the reaction we are expecting did not occur. Yesterday I made it again from the beginning and the result was the same, then something happened and we came up with the idea that reaction might have been occured. Next week we're gonna analyse whether it did or not. Also Prof. Unak tried to bring some of his memory back about computer programming and he was kinda successful. We are going to do Monte Carlo calculations on "Microdosimetric calculations of F-18".
I also made some ads about my translation job and place them where people can see easily. Besides, me and Serhat are starting to give private English courses. As you can see, I need cash :D
Today I will get a bottle of tequila which my mom brought from duty free for me. Also a new Cavalli perfume and a shower gel.
On wednesday 29th October, we went out like 20 people and it was kinda crazy night compared to usual ones, but don't even compare this with Swedish nights ;) I kinda started to study for TOEFL but I don't think this will last long, as you know I'm like a lazy biatch.
Something else, now I'm the head of EBILTET Chemistry Group. EBILTET means Ege Uni. Sci. and Tech. Union. I was at the first meeting on tuesday and i tried to impress the attendees which were not more than 10. I hope I impressed them and was an inspiration for them. That's what I want for my life you know. My biggest aim in this lame life. If I start talking 'bout this crap, it will long like hundred pages so I'm gonna stop here and say goodbye to everyone. If you are really following my blog, I appreciate that and thank you very much. Älskar dig allt !!!

teaching...

I was gonna write this couple of days ago but i had some problems with blogger website. Now, it's flawless and here i am. Last week, it was the first teaching experience for me. Since then, I am an instructor in the Nuclear Chemistry I Laboratory Course. It will last a semester and 10 experiments. I will be instructing for 3 experiments in the morning and 3 in the afternoon. Same experiments though :P. One of my experiments is "the Technetium-99m generator". If you are a little interested in nuclear medicine or radiopharmaceuticals, i'm sure you know many things about this generator. Second one is Investigation of the absorption of gamma rays in air and various metals, and calculation of absorption constants of these matters". We investigate aluminium, copper and lead here. Of course you can guess which one is the best for stopping gamma rays if you know a little nuclear chemistry. Third and last experiment is very easy compared to other 2. Investigation of the activity of the mixture including 2 different radioactive isotopes and calculating their half-lives. For this experiments , we take 5 background counts and 5 counts from the mixture then we calculate the mean value. Every week we record these mean value and the real calculation will be made after 8 - 9 weeks so we can see the decay of both isotopes.
Also Prof. Unak told us couple of thesis subjects and we need to pick one (or more) of them shortly. They all excite me but i'm interested one of them specially, the one includes Monte Carlo calculations, " Microdosimetry calculations".

Besides these stuff, I also started to a project with Prof. Astley. It's about synthesizing a Schiff base from reaction of L-Cysteine with Salicylaldehyde. We are 2 people in this. First week, last friday, my mate did something wrong and there is no process yet. This friday the reaction will occur probably but it takes couple of hours so i need to go to laboratory before noon. These were the most interesting 3 things happened recently in my life. This year it's gonna be full i guess. Not tough but busy. However, I'm more than ok with that. I want to take the TOEFL exam soon also but i'm worrying about failing because it costs 155 US $! Anyways, that's been too long. See you here soon. I'll keep posting as much as i can... Hejdå!!

the birthday

14th October 1987, it was the day that started my life, my happy, sad, exciting, exhausting, inspiring, depressing and joyful life, just like any other one. So thru the years that has gone in the blink of an eye, I reached 21 now. Yesterday night was fun for me, not for all I guess. Anyway, only thing I wonder is, did I make a difference ? Throughout these years, did I succeed ? Was I enough successful to pride ? Answers to these questions generally differ but I can say, so far I don't think I made a big difference. I might be different but it's not the same. Next couple of years are gonna be the most important ones of my life, at least I think that. Today I'm applying for a traineeship in Karlsruhe, Germany. If it happens, I will make one of my little dreams come true. It's kinda revenge. I'm not actually a revenge person but it was so NOT fair which they did to me. I deserved something and I couldn't get. So ? There must be a revenge, or at least some point to make them feel awful and regret. Soon or later, that's what I'm gonna do. Just like everyone says, life goes on, and mine, even faster... Once again HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY for me!!!
- Do your best Ümit !
- I will, you can count on that.

Hope to meet here again with an entry which tells how I got the job. =) Hejdå !!!

10th Nucleonica Training Course

Just 2 days after school started, there was a training course in Cesme, Izmir, organized by European Comission - JRC - Institute for Transuranium Elements and Ege University Institute of Nuclear Sciences. I guess I wrote about it here before. So I've been there for 3 days, even though I was really sick on first and second days, it definitely worth to go. I got like 40 degrees of celsius fever and I barely slept. Anyway, I really had the chance of meeting very important people there and I had the chance to impress them. I guess I was kinda successful on that. Especially I'm very happy that I met Dr. Joe Magill and I hope I impressed him. In this training course they also gave a book written by Dr. Magill and Jean Galy, both from JRC-ITU and I made it signed by them. Another great thing that I found out during this course, there are 4 projects on ITU for traineeships to apply. Altought my school is not finished yet, I qualify for an application and I'm going to apply. Deadline is 15th of October so I(you also) better hurry. The project I'm applying for is about a fuel of IV. Generation Nuclear Reactors. I hope I can make it. If I got selected, I would be like the happiest guy on earth because there are special reasons about that, reasons that I told in my previous blog entries.
Besides, my birthday is coming soon. I'm trying to decide what to do that day and I hope it goes nice. It's 21. the coolest age ever. :P
Well, that's enough I guess, I have some chores to do. :)
Be well, see you soon.