It's not always carpe-fucking-diem.
There is a bigger picture.
Your family expects something, your relatives, friends, everyone around you expect you to accomplish somethings. More productive.
You need to study, you need to work, go to gym -preferably 3-4 times a week-, get a lover, get a boner... cook food, wash your clothes, dishes, clean your house, clean yourself, go online, write a blog, go to facebook, put some wise crap on your wall...
"Karma is a bitch, ain't it ?"
Don't be fooled by words like "the world is your playground", because it fucking isn't!!!
It just gives you more and more drawbacks, everyday.
If you are a dreamer, go ahead, make 'em real. Then what? Here comes the next dream.
When you are 70, you'll realize your dream wasn't none of that shit.
Get your head out off your ass.
Open your eyes.
Your life doesn't make sense.
Therefore, here I write you a prescription from Hawksley Workman;
Smoke baby, smoke baby
more alcohol baby
cocaine in Montreal
and black out on the plane baby...
Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!
I got no more to add, if you like, read the whole thing...
You may as well call it something ordinary, no significant information right here, however if you feel that way, well then I just choose to be taking some notes for myself right here, and you just stumbled upon 'em accidentally, and maybe even spent some of your valuable time to read them. Well, I cannot do much about that but apologize...
Today, was another day to die.
Today, was another day to party.
Today, it was something else up there.
We proceed, to life.
What I tried to tell above, is something that you just care when you're happy, optimistic and feelin' good.
The butterfly thingy. ;)
Like the man says in a Serbian song;
Leptiri u mom stomaku, uvek me na tebe potsete.
Ja ih uspavam na foru, al te osete.
And right now, Oasis says that "You're my wonderwall."
So I have my reasons while I'm being optimistic.
What 'bout you?
I just hope for something good in the future, and get happy with that.
So do yourself a favor today, get happy.
You never know when love joins to the game...
Like we say in PG;
Maybe tomorrow, maybe closer than tomorrow...
Never mind. In 3 hours, I'll fly back to Sweden after 3 months, I'm sballato, and I don't feel like writing something.
I just wanna enjoy...
You should do the same...
Io sono sballato totale.
Pronto a sorridere!
I'm Umit, from a different universe called PG. And by different, I mean, seriously it was something else.
There is the fucking catalan, when he came back from Spain with a surprise present, shouting in my home; "I got sarna mannnnn!!!"
There are always fratellinos and sorellinas in PG. And for sure, they would know how to handle life there.
When there is a fight in PG, Gods only let one fist to exist. the one by the Destroyer.
Ahhh! There is;
- Come onnnnn, Let's fuck.
- Come onnn, it's FUN.
There are neighbours in PG, sacrifice themselves in order to let you not sleep and party 24 hours, even sometimes just a 20 minute filthy action.
You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
And the Goddess of PG is the Portuguese Chocolate with the eternal bracelet.
Sometimes, there may appear this guy in PG Universe, betting you a beer if you hit the top bar from mid-line in indoor soccer field, and when you hit and thought you already won, the guy shoots and hits the same bar, and your consolation is "Umit doesn't drink beer."
We have a business guy from the "heart of business" in Turkey, allowing us to be the strongest economy among all parallel universes.
Everybody has a flower, in a wine bottle, and their names on them. A sweet little girl named "Rooms" takes care of them, by not letting them pass the Círculo Polar.
If you started your PG-Day without Italian Coffee from the ORI & TIGER's shop, don't bother, it's a shitty day.
In PG, you might meet Cul'oc and foufa. Pray for this to happen.
When you say "Fuck it!" there, probably you will be warned;
No buddy, it's "Fuk it!"
In PG, there is only one Swedish girl. Her name is Jochen, I'm so sick for her gold hairs, diving into the vast deeps of the bushes.
There is another totally Swedish person. However Jochen looks more alike the majority of girls in Sweden.
When you ask a cigarette from a stranger there, likely he would answer you; "Sure man!"
Here comes and ironic one;
In every "Creep" you have to tear your vocal cords with Alejandro Cruz Moreno, otherwise he wouldn't sing the Ice Cream Man.
You never know, when you want to learn only one sentence in one language, why should it be "ulitka"?
A Greenpeace Man, and a Nuclear Physicist can live in the same house in PG, happily ever after...
You might say "Evet", you might say "Hayır". You might say "PG".
You get warnings in PG. You put them on the best places of your wall. That's what makes you legendary in this universe.
You live in a weird, but the safest country of the universe, but you live with a Baseball Bat, and sometimes 8 flat-tyre bikes.
In PG, thanks to time-differences between countries, there is always someone in the other end of the world -or just an insomniac Turkish- thinking about every single one of you.
Thou shalt never think about my mother, if I made a mistake up there, forgot something, or someone(hope not).
You would live in an odd, complex, funny, lovely universe but then, you would be lived in the best universe, having the best times in you life, which moves around parallel universes. And you would know, in every letter here, there is a connection with something. Something makes you smile whereever you are, whatever time it is. You just know, these memories are priceless, however you can buy something from Amir and you can reminisce these memories. You can even put the PG List in the background and say "I lost myself", while writing a post like this one. I want to thank the people who gave me this inspiration, this potential to think and write such thing which makes me feel off the clouds right now. You are the best guys. You are PG.
I've finished the best year of my life in Lund, 4 days ago... With a lovely last day...
Of course I will miss all the friends I had there, and PG, for sure. But let's not talk about the end now, because this is only the beginning.
Me and Mike, we started from Lund, to Turkey, a train trip in approx. 22 days, and on the way I will visit awesome PG people! We wish we could visit all of you guys! Just wait a bit more and sure we will!
Here is the route for my trip. We started on sunday morning from Copenhagen and we were in Berlin in the afternoon. We had a crazy sunday (also monday morning) there with Kasha!, 2 parties from 19 till 09 in the morning, then a quick city tour and our train to Amsterdam. We came yesterday night to Amsterdam, and had a great day here. I think it's better not to share this day on internet. Don't ask me why. :P
Tomorrow, we will do a more detailed city tour, and enjoy the city more...
Next stop, is Brussels on Thursday evening, 17th June.
Wait for it Alex, gonna be awesome!
We have 2 days in Brussels, then we will go to Paris on 19th June morning and see around the city for 7 - 8 hours, then we'll take the train to Bordeaux if everything goes alright.
Here we go Gilles!!!
I cannot say that any of these cities we visit will be crazier than the others, they all have very special ways to be awesome! And Bordeaux will be for sure unique experience for us. After Bordeaux, on 23rd June morning, we will head to Barcelona.
Here comes the Fucking Catalan! A crazy roomie!!!
5 days in sweaty hot Barcelona, will take all the cold away from our bodies. We're both gonna be wasted, and at the same time, HOT!!! After all these Swedish months, I think we will love it!
On 28th morning, we will fly to Pisa, then I arrive to Florence.
Say Hi to Tendino and Francesco, another great roomie!
We are planning to stay until 1st of July there, and then we will head to Turkey. However, We are still in the process of making plans for a stop in Skopje, Macedonia. I hope we can do it too. Pray for it Ivana!!!
When we arrive to Istanbul, I know our small brains will be filled up with all these memories we've had with these awesome people all year in Lund and around Europe.
We just want to say thank you guys. You are the best.
Amics per sempra!!!
Catarina aka Gözde
David aka Berkut
Alejandro -my psychologist =)
Nunzia aka Tiger of Sicily
Charlotte de Monaco
Ace "Sure man"
We need to tell you guys, We are terribly sorry that we cannot visit you, but you already know in the first chance we get, we will do it! Who knows, maybe tomorrow, maybe closer than tomorrow...
It's a song by Monty Python, but it has more than that for us. Who is us ?
PG is us. PG is our family, it's our home away from home. If you know what PG is, you know how close you can get to any human being on earth.
PG, basically is the initials of the street that we lived for our time in Lund, Sweden. It stands for Parternas Gränd, but for us it stands for our friendship,our family, our perfect times in Lund.
Before I came to Sweden, like I wrote here before, I was thinking every single day, that it's going to be a great year. However, as soon as arrived here, even the very first day, I met my amics per sempra. That's something different. It's not possible to be described by any words in any language on earth.
Now, there's only a number of days left, to leave each other, and some of us even left, but we are still together here in PG. We may not see each other for a while, but it does not mean that we forget any of our members.
Guys, let me tell you something;
I love PG, and I will never ever let it slip from my mind, not one second.
See you soon, in PG.
I used to say;
but time is changing, so is people.
For me, the time is to take some action now. The year of my life is gonna finish in 2 months, and I kinda know what's gonna happen this summer. What abour afterwards ? No frickin' idea!
We will see, of course...
I just write this post at this time of the night, because I feel like bored and totally sober, after a usual "night-out". This should be something philosophical huh?
I gotta finish it with some lyrics I memorized, and kinda fits the occasion;
It might not be the right time,
I might not be the right one,
But there's something about us I want to say;
Cause there's something between us anyway...
When I wake up, I think. Afterwards, I forget.
It wasn't meant to be like this. It wasn't.
To have what I have right now, you have to sacrifice a lot. A looooot.
What did I sacrifice ? Nothing. So I am suffering now. My world is suffering because of my weak will.
I just need to divide. Divide and conquer.
I just need the power and will to do this.
I wonder if I ever will get there. I started to have doubts, which I never had in my entire life. They are scaring me. They make me ask the question;
I need to move. Maybe not the biggest steps I used to take all the time, but some steps need to be taken. Otherwise, I'm gonna fall down. Fall down very hard, and I will feel pain, a lot of pain. Maybe it will be impossible to recover myself afterwards. To prevent this fall, I just need to take a trip. A trip to the inner me.
Like they say;
"Den längsta resan är resan innat."
I have the solution, from the beginning, I have it. I just need to put it into action. On the backside of my iPod, I say: "think.always."
Maybe now I should add something into that;
Ümit Selahattin Öner
Seriously, if you are thinking about studying in the city of Lund, you can ask me anything but I think you don't need to. You should stop thinking and get moving about that. Hmmm. What else?..
Oh I think I gotta talk about the title of this post. At least give some clues.
It was about time seriously, it was getting late. But in PG, we say "Chocolate is better than never."
I had my first exam, it was a home exam and I did it in the last night of course, and delivered. Now, in 5 hours, I will have the oral part of the exam, which can only increase my score. On the other hand, for other course, Introduction to Synchrotron Light, I had 5 reports to do, and I only did 1. The deadline was 1st December, so now I don't know what I should do. It's fucked up I guess. I am fucked up.
Christmas is coming here, and you can see the "lights" allwhere. Literally, allwhere. Swedish people are weird. Do you wonder why ? I can explain you if you are interested. Just ask. I think I will stay here for christmas holiday, altough I'd like to visit my family and my friends, but for me it's ok also this way.
One other important thing, if you come to Sweden, permanently or temporarily, to study, just make sure you have a big scholarship, because altough you can live cheap here, everything fun costs a lot. Seriously, a lot.
Tomorrow, we are gonna have the last big "PG Dinner" and on friday, the final party of "PG Nation". I am pretty sure it's gonna be awesome, if you are reading this and present in Lund, just be sure the party is in your schedule.
Whatever, this is getting too long. I'm having the best here, trust me.
"See you late"
P.S. If you wonder what "PG" is, find me on Facebook.
Yesterday night, while I was having good time in another party, I had my rear tyre flat. Then I put some air and came home but in the morning, it was flat again so it was obvious that something was wrong. Then around 4 in the afternoon, I fixed and tried it...
Voila! It seemed nice.
Around 6.30, I went to this "Tack Sittning" which is organized for us, as a prize for one night work in Helsingkrona Nation. I had a good dinner there, and I moved to the club, but it was not that cool, so I came back home. There was some friends together, having some pre-party, which I joined immediately. After sometime, we decided to go to this party in Delphi. When we arrived, there were maybe 30 people, but more or less it was like everything but party. So we thought that these people need some action. Then we just brought the party spirit there. Around this time, like 12, I started to feel good. Then we smoked a joint, and I was gooood. Actually, I peed from 3rd floor. It was just for fun. Trust me it's not disgusting, you wanna do that, I can feel. If you are a girl, I'm sorry then, this is something that you can never ever feel in your whole life. :P
Then we moved out towards home but somehow I found myself in the same party again. It was kinda boring that time but some Danish girl tried to learn Turkish for maybe an hour, and the only words she managed to learn was "merhaba" and "güle güle" which means "hello" and "bye bye", respectively. Quite impressive, right ? After that me and Albert decided to leave this time, but downstairs we saw a girl and asked her about "Sasha" and she told us that he's in the kitchen. When we went to this kitchen, some people were waiting for us, and they offered us a ping-pong table and rackets, so we started to play table tennis in this unknown-kitchen. It was quite fun though. There I found out that Albert is not only a fucking Catalan, he is also a fucking good table-tennis player.
After the game, with some struggle, we managed to find the way home and at home we just smoked another joint, and started to talk all stupid and silly stuff, and I wasn't even following what I was talking about. It was quite a relief for me though. Then he went to his room and now I guess I'm supposed to be sleeping but I just don't want to. Here I am, writing this piece of shit. Ask me if you have any fucking questions, I would gladly answer. Or not, I'm not sure about that, coz I'm fukin high!
Rüyalar, hayal kurmak… Her insan için bir içgüdüdür hayal kurmak. Herkes hayal kurar; evler, arabalar, sevgililer, işler, yerler ise bir insanın hakkında hayal kurabileceği milyonlarca şeyden yalnızca birkaçı, fakat en yaygın olanları.
Hayallerimiz her zaman sahip olduklarımızın ilerisindedir ve hatta çoğu zaman yaşamımız boyunca gelebileceğimiz en uç noktanın bile ilerisindedir.
Hergün internette, gazetelerde, dergilerde vb. başkalarının esinlenmesi, ilham alması için yüzlerce, belki binlerce başarı hikayesi yayınlanıyor. Fakat hiç düşündünüzmü, tarih boyunca milyarlarca insan kendi rüyalarını gerçekleştiremeden, kendi başarı hikayelerini yazamadan tarihe karışıyor.
Ayrıca günümüz insanlarının çoğu hayaller ve hayal kurmak hakkındakı en önemli gerçeği unutuyor;
Rüyaları gerçekleştirmenin en iyi yolu, uyanmaktır, diyor Paul Valery. Uyanmak, ve var gücünüzle çalışmaya başlamak.
Yukarıda bahsedilen başarı hikayelerini okumak ne kadar ilham verici olsa da, pratikte hiçbir işinize yaramıyor.
Bir rüya uğrunda çalışmak, o rüyanın gerçek olmasını garantilemese de izlenmesi mecburi bir yol. Hatta rüyanız şansla gerçekleşse bile. Böyle bir durumda sadece sizin rüyanız için çalışanın kim olduğunu bilmezsiniz o kadar.
Fakat hayalinizin uğrunda çaba harcarken, herşey ters gitse bile, ayakta durmalısınız. “Bir kez daha denemeliyim” deyip devam etmelisiniz. En azından bir yerlerden başlamak zorundasınız. Unutmayın; Binlerce kilometrelik bir yol, birkaç adımla başlar.
Ümit Selahattin ÖNER
I know I've been an asshole since sometime, saying read my blog and never posting there. Haha. Yea you are right. I just dont have the spirit to write here. Instead, I write to my private notebooks. Here I will publish some phrases I thought about in last couple of weeks. These phrases are originally said by me, and copying without quotation is strictly forbidden according to law #6343, DON'T STEAL! Here they are and I want to mention, they are open to change in future.
- I am not just a point in your life story, I'm an entire paragraph.
- Follow my footprints, then you'll be enlightened.
- Look back, but move forward. Your past will guide you through your future.
All by Ümit Selahattin Öner.
See you soon with a new post telling my last days in Turkey.
Something new, I have a stepmom since a week. I don't know what to tell about it. So if you wonder, just ask.
Next week I will go to graduation ceremony, so I will be in Izmir for the last time this year.
In these days, I guess I will feel bored but somehow, I'm enjoying the boredom. =)
I know that I am going to have the best days of my life after 24 August, why give a shit about anything else ?
I like the way I move!
Then there is a diploma work. It has to be done until friday. I will try to do it but definitely I don't intend to spend hours and hours on it. My colleagues should do it and I bet they will, at least Im gonna make them have to.
Also there is the "one" thing. I told you about this before. It is still stuck in my mind. I made some plans to deal with it. Hope one of them works. This thing will last until I go Sweden, maybe even after that. So this is a long-term plan. ;)
No need to rush ha? Oh yeaa ;) You can bet that.!
So I'm gonna say goodbye to all of you fellas. I hope I can study for couple of hours tonight. Be well!
I want to ask you, what can I do to make people read this shit ? I'm so open to your suggestions or whatever... C'mon guys, spread the word, make people read a genius. :P
Nowadays, someone in my situation would definitely say that he is busy as hell, however I can't feel the rush thru my veins. What's the rush here ? :P I have 3 exams left in this next 5 weekdays, I have a huge diploma work to write, and I have an oral exam of diploma work also. Plus, I took a page of article to translate for a friend. Shit ha ? I didn't ever start to study for the exams, didn't start to make research for the diploma work. I guess, once again, I will not be sleeping for couple of nights. Oh but don't you worry, I will stay awake not for studying, just to feel good instead. I hope I can write couple of words. Also all these laziness is just because a reason. I can't tell the reason here but maybe I can give some clues about it. Listen to this song, and then continue please. =)
Deja Vu - Can't Stop Thinking of You
Now do you have a clue ? If you still don't, then watch this ;
Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out of My Head
I guess that's enough, but the last thing (and also the title) I'm gonna say is;
My pillow still smells just like you...
When I learned how to read and write at the age of 4, I met the joy of learning things. After that, my life has been all about asking questions and learning. When I started to study at the age of 5, two years earlier than normal school age in Turkey, my passion of learning got even bigger. When grow-ups asked me about what I am going to be in future, the one and only answer I gave them was "scientist". I was caught by excellence of the science.
After the University Entrance Exam, all of my choices were chemistry or other natural sciences. Then, in the first year of university, I had a chance to get in the modern physics world. I must admit, I was impressed. In next 3 years, while I am studying chemistry, I was trying to keep up with the developments in modern physics. Here I have to say something really bothered me. In my 3rd year, I wanted to improve my skills in modern physics by following lectures in our Physics Department. However, a lecturer, who gives the Introduction to Particle Physics course, did not even let me listen his lessons, and gave me no reason. What would one do in that case? I went home and prepared a presentation. The title was "Particle Physics and Standard Model". The only person I invited from our Physics Department, the one and only member of CERN in our university, said he is totally impressed.
In summer 2008, I had to work as an intern in any field related to chemistry. I choosed the best possible place to work closely with Nuclear Sciences, Cekmece Nuclear Research and Training Center. After my obligated one month work, A. Fadıl Akgun, a general advisor there requested me to stay another month to work with him. Of course, I eagerly accepted this request. Besides, in that summer I attended to 4th National Summer School on Particle Accelerators and Detectors in Turkey, organised by Turkish Physical Society and that's where I met the Synchrotron Radiaton, its applications, FEL's and many more concepts about accelerators. I guess there is no need to mention I was the only chemist there. It was the event which introduced me to MAX-Lab.
MAX-Lab, the only laboratory of its kind in Sweden, looked as a very amazing place to study - or work - for me, because I have been to Sweden twice before and I was already impressed by the people living here. Their respect to each other, their respect to nature was showing that the people here are living in a great harmony. Also I must say I have a belief that studying at MAX-Lab as a Master's Degree student would be a unique opportunity to enrich my knowledge in the fields of my interests and to continue the career path I have started in an academic environment and I intend to follow this up with a Ph.D.
In Fall Semester 2008, I was an instructor in the laboratory of Nuclear Chemistry I course. My thesis advisor Prof. Turan Unak had troubles with finding Ph. D. students with enough experience in Nuclear Chemistry, then I came up with an idea, I said I could do it because including this Nuclear Chemistry I course, I took three courses from Prof. Unak before. He accepted this proposal and then as 7 diploma work students of his, we assigned to work every week as an instructor for 3rd grades in the course. As the course ended last week, students kept telling me they really like my experiments. It was a delightful job to me, actually it was everything to me but a job. Nowadays, we are working intensively on our diploma works with my friends and Prof. Unak. My specialized subject is about coding a computer software which can calculate the behaviors of F-18 radioactive isotope in a cell using Monte Carlo calculations and its consequences. Other research areas of us includes new aspects in PET imaging, using F-18 isotope with novel studies and so on.
Since we dont have any research objected particle accelerator, studying in the field of Synchrotron Radiation Based Sciences is nearly impossible in Turkey. MAX-Lab gives me the opportunity for studying in a cutting-edge research field. Including Sweden's countless chances for scientists working there, I am very ambitious about working in MAX-Lab Synchrotron Radiation facility. I have to say that science is the job I can do until I die. I remember Alfred B. Nobel once wrote in a letter as an answer to a question asking where he lives; "Home is where I work, and I work everywhere". Taking all these benefits of Sweden and my addiction to science into account, I eagerly want to study in MAX-Lab und jag önskar innerligt att Sverige skall bli mitt nya hem.
Ümit Selahattin Öner
Let me tell you about the recent news in my life. I went to Germany for 10 days, between 17 - 27 May, and lived the life that I missed once again. I did an awesome trip there. I went to Stuttgart, Karlsruhe (mostly), Heidelberg and Munich. After a while from my return, I got the official acceptance letter to Synchrotron Radiation Based Sciences Master Program at Lund University, MAX-Lab, Sweden. Then on 16th of May, me and 5 other friends went to Bodrum for 5 days, for the last long holiday of our university lives. It also could be called "nice" and "funny". After all nowadays I am dealing with the writing of my diploma work and then I have 5 exams between 1 -12 June and then, I am - only if everything goes fine - officially graduated. By the way during the past months, I had a girlfriend. It didn't last long, it wasn't meant to last long already. Besides everything, it made me realize what I want and what I don't want. In may, I applied for the Swedish Institute Scholarship. It is about 700 Euro per month and if I got that scholarship, it means my life is saved. Gotcha ? I am soooo close to it.
Wish me luck & pray for me.
Today, I can tell many news but I guess I won't remember some of them again.
Where were we last time ? Yea, my TOEFL Score was announced : 104 over 120. That's awesome ha ? ^^It's only the beginning of the story...^^
I took 7 classes in fall semester and I succeeded - ALL OF THEM - yea ALL !
Actually there are some happenings but who cares, I passed ALL.
Then, the Germany thing. The training course, organized by European Commission - Joint Research Center - Institute for Transuranium Elements: 1st Advanced Training Course on Illicit Trafficking and Consequence Management with Nucleonica. I made an application for participating in this course, because if I got accepted, they would cover my travel and accomodation expenses.
I also want to mention that this course will be organised in Karlsruhe - Germany, where I would go if I were the Erasmus student of my department. So this is like an answer to the person who selected the Erasmus student ha ? isn't it ? I think absolutely it is...
After the selection made, I got an e-mail, in which they mentioned I got ACCEPTED. If you couldn't read, let me say that again, "ACCEPTED". Now only thing I have to do is prepare some documents for visa and for reimbursement of my money. The rest is joy. I will be in Karlsruhe for 10 days I hope.
Another thing, which excites me the most, is Sweden. After some e-mail traffic with Prof. Schröder, I got the news that I fulfill all the requirements and therefore -inşallah- I will be accepted to the Lund University - MAX-lab - Master Programme on Syncrotron Radiation Based Sciences. On studera.nu, now it says : PLACE GUARANTEED as my application condition. If this happens, you will absolutely see it here the minute I find out.
Now, my midterm exams are about to begin. I only have 5 classes this semester, and I am hoping to pass them all easily. Let's all hope that happens. :P
That's all for this time I think, I don't want to keep it longer and get you bored. If you want to ask me ANYTHING but ANYTHING, just write me, leave a comment here, e-mail me or something like that....
One last thing, I will soon publish the "Statement of Purpose" which I wrote to Lund University - MAX-lab for my application.
Jag älskar Sverige !!! Hejdå !!!
And now there is nothing between me and Sweden. I am just waiting and praying for getting accepted to MAX-lab.
I don't think I could write much longer, maybe some other time. Just enjoy my success. ;)
Modesty does NOT fit me. Sorry. =)