sballato totale.

Attenzione!!!
Allora,
Io sono sballato totale.
Pronto a sorridere!

I'm Umit, from a different universe called PG. And by different, I mean, seriously it was something else.

There is the fucking catalan, when he came back from Spain with a surprise present, shouting in my home; "I got sarna mannnnn!!!"

There are always fratellinos and sorellinas in PG. And for sure, they would know how to handle life there.

When there is a fight in PG, Gods only let one fist to exist. the one by the Destroyer.

Ahhh! There is;

- Come onnnnn, Let's fuck.
- Come onnn, it's FUN.

There are neighbours in PG, sacrifice themselves in order to let you not sleep and party 24 hours, even sometimes just a 20 minute filthy action.

...
You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
...

And the Goddess of PG is the Portuguese Chocolate with the eternal bracelet.

Sometimes, there may appear this guy in PG Universe, betting you a beer if you hit the top bar from mid-line in indoor soccer field, and when you hit and thought you already won, the guy shoots and hits the same bar, and your consolation is "Umit doesn't drink beer."

We have a business guy from the "heart of business" in Turkey, allowing us to be the strongest economy among all parallel universes.

Everybody has a flower, in a wine bottle, and their names on them. A sweet little girl named "Rooms" takes care of them, by not letting them pass the Círculo Polar.

If you started your PG-Day without Italian Coffee from the ORI & TIGER's shop, don't bother, it's a shitty day.

In PG, you might meet Cul'oc and foufa. Pray for this to happen.

When you say "Fuck it!" there, probably you will be warned;
No buddy, it's "Fuk it!"

In PG, there is only one Swedish girl. Her name is Jochen, I'm so sick for her gold hairs, diving into the vast deeps of the bushes.

There is another totally Swedish person. However Jochen looks more alike the majority of girls in Sweden.

When you ask a cigarette from a stranger there, likely he would answer you; "Sure man!"

Here comes and ironic one;

In every "Creep" you have to tear your vocal cords with Alejandro Cruz Moreno, otherwise he wouldn't sing the Ice Cream Man.

You never know, when you want to learn only one sentence in one language, why should it be "ulitka"?

A Greenpeace Man, and a Nuclear Physicist can live in the same house in PG, happily ever after...

You might say "Evet", you might say "Hayır". You might say "PG".

You get warnings in PG. You put them on the best places of your wall. That's what makes you legendary in this universe.

You live in a weird, but the safest country of the universe, but you live with a Baseball Bat, and sometimes 8 flat-tyre bikes.

In PG, thanks to time-differences between countries, there is always someone in the other end of the world -or just an insomniac Turkish- thinking about every single one of you.

Thou shalt never think about my mother, if I made a mistake up there, forgot something, or someone(hope not).


You would live in an odd, complex, funny, lovely universe but then, you would be lived in the best universe, having the best times in you life, which moves around parallel universes. And you would know, in every letter here, there is a connection with something. Something makes you smile whereever you are, whatever time it is. You just know, these memories are priceless, however you can buy something from Amir and you can reminisce these memories. You can even put the PG List in the background and say "I lost myself", while writing a post like this one. I want to thank the people who gave me this inspiration, this potential to think and write such thing which makes me feel off the clouds right now. You are the best guys. You are PG.